Dear Guardian Angel,

I don't know if you can hear me right now but I want you to know that you mean a lot to me. You mean a lot to many people that were in your life. I'm pretty sure you knew that already but here I am reminding you one more time. Words cannot explain how much every person here misses you dearly, it's insane. You kept us all sane. You were the LIGHT in our darkness.

I want you to thank you a million times for saving me from my darkness when I needed it the most. I hope you know that you really impacted my life. LIKE A LOT. It kills me inside that you're gone and not here with us physically but I know you will always be here with us spiritually. I wish I could've saved you but I know that you're not hurting anymore. You're in peace and with God who is so lucky to have you in his presence. He's lucky to have someone who is the definition of selfless, kind-hearted, genuine, amazing, loving, caring, beautiful soul like you. The list goes on ...

Thank you for coming into my life and growing up with me in my awkward stages and witnessing all my weird yet memorable phases. Thank you for being such an amazing, genuine friend that anyone can ever have. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for believing in myself when I didn't believe in me. Thank you for being so genuine and kind-hearted. Thank you for teaching me to have fun and live life. Thank you for showing me many things before you left us. Thank you for being YOU.


May you be in peace at last in paradise and don't forget to keep up with the Bulls game up there in heaven. May you rest in heaven angel.

"See you later..."



- We miss you.

Lost Without You

12/22/2014

Looking left and right 

All I see is nothing by my side

Feeling empty and darkness 

Only seeping through me as I'm alive 

How can I wake up from this nightmare 

When all I feel is loneliness inside

I ask myself, will I ever wake up 

Or is this real life that has complied  

Opening my eyes and you aren't here 

Why couldn't I turn the clock around when you were near

I close my eyes thinking it was a nightmare 

When really it's a sign that you aren't here 

Please come back home or do I have to open my eyes and tell myself it's all fake and black ...

Our sunshine in the rain

I can’t seem to understand why though? Why did you have to leave us when you knew deep down we loved you from the very start. It hurts to know that you were hurting for quite awhile and didn’t want to reach out to anyone. It hurts to know that it had to end this way because you wanted to take away your pain. It hurts to know that you’re not here anymore. It hurts to know that I can’t mess around with you and giving you shit from time to time. It hurts to know that we all lost such an amazing, loving, genuine, kind -hearted beautiful soul. You were the light in our darkness, didn’t you know that? You were everyone’s sunshine. You gave  nothing but love to anyone and everyone.
To know that you’re gone is so hard to accept. You found the light in my darkness. You were the light in my darkness and I don’t know how I can repay you for that. I don’t know how I can accept the fact that I didn’t help you to find your light in your darkness. Man, you were your OWN LIGHT in your darkness.
I am truly honored and blessed to have met you in my life. Thank you for never doubting in me and always being there when I needed a friend. Thank you for letting me feel human and to know that what I was going through was something that everyone also felt as well at one point in their lives. That I wasn’t alone and you were there to save me. Thank you a million times. We all miss you so fucking much. Why can’t you just come back? Please come back, please .... We miss you our guardian angel.

My Lost Angel

12/15/2014

My lost angel
Can you see the light
My lost angel
Is there a place for your sight
My lost angel
I see your darkness has arrived
My lost angel
You can fight this battle
With us by your side
My lost angel
I know you are stronger than that
My lost angel
Why did you have to take this route
When there was another way around
My lost angel
You were never hated but truly loved
My lost angel
We were there right by your side
You were never alone
My lost angel
You thought you were lost
but now you are found.


Rest In Paradise, Michael Habon
You will be missed dearly and never forgotten.
12.15.2014

At First Sight

12/22/13

There comes a time when we all lose ourselves

We lose ourselves to someone emotionally and physically

To someone that we can see spending the rest of our lives with

To someone that we can trust our souls to

To someone that we are able to show our vulnerable side to

And not be afraid

To someone that we can sit there quietly

Just gazing into each others eyes to without any awkwardness

To someone that we let into our lives and introduce them as

“Our so called soul mate.”

Once you get lost into their eyes

There is no turning back

It’s either a decision to take the risk of getting hurt

Or never finding out if it was meant to be

Not knowing if it’s meant to be or if it was just a coincidence

Was the breathtaking part of meeting someone that caught your eye…

Fade Away

6/12/14

Pain comes in all different forms …

Whether it’s a good pain or a bad pain

Every person will experience it all… its just a matter of time where you can adjust to it and not let it affect us internally and eat us up inside slowly

But when does that actually happen?

Do we give that a certain time to learn how to control it?

Or do we just let it overpower us to the point where we die slowly

Externally and internally

But we will never forget the feeling of how much it has affected us

D e e p l y

Emotionally and physically

Yet here we are standing here waiting for some miracle to happen to us all

Hoping that one-day the pain will go away and someone will take in control to take the pain away, make you feel happy again, and help you along your journey

But nothing happens

You’re there all alone

Fighting this battle you don’t know how to handle

Sometimes we tend to forget all the good things that happened

And remember every little bad thing that happened

We tend to forget all the memories that made us smile, laugh, and cry with joy

But remember all the bad memories that made us memorize all the mistakes and regrets we’ve made in the

Past, present, and soon to be future

When will it ever end?

When will the pain end?

When?

One Night Stand

6/3/14

Your hand firmly shakes against mine

Feeling my heart beat as fast as it could

With a soft warm voice

All I can do is smirk

The sensations I feel from my head all the way down to my toes

When I see your face lit up a room full of crowd-intoxicated people

The crest of your fingers slowly intertwining with mine

The warm feeling of your hand gradually going up and down my thighs

The facial expressions we exchange while we sat next to each other

The intension in the room between the two of us

The feeling of wanting to jump on one another

Pressed against the bed with the creases dented inside

The way you run every finger through each single strand of hair

The look when we gazed into each other’s eyes

The touch of your skin against mine

The brush of your fingers gradually going down my back

Making me feel secured

Beautiful

Infinite

Wanted ...

The touch of your lips against mine

The way you would take deep heavily breathes

Whispering in my ear gently

“I don’t want this a one time thing...”

But eventually ended up to be a one-night stand.

Don’t Catch Me

6/20/14

How do you manage to let me fall for you?

Laying there in bed gazing into each others eyes

In silence

Just letting the moment take us to somewhere we just felt it was right

Believing every word you said that night

With no hesitation from the words that fell outta your mouth

One Soul That Tried

11/19/2013

The touch of your skin

The look in your eyes

The love you gave

From left to right

I never knew someone could

Make another person feel so right

The laughs we shared

The talks we had

The secrets we whispered

After long hours

In the middle of the night

Talking about our confessions

Our faults in life

Our dreams and goals

Our regrets that we’ve made

Our fears and doubts and problems we’ve faced

In the past, present, and talking about our future

But what I loved the most was

The loved that we shared for each other

To let each other know that

We were both wanted by one another

And that was something I will never forget

Because it

“Was unforgettable”

The way you asked for permission

To call and say hello

To hear my voice when I just wanted to hear yours instead

The feeling of butterflies dancing in my stomach

And stuttering because I was too shy and nervous to talk to you

Which I've never felt in a long time

And when I mean long…

I mean a very long time

But…

Yes I said BUT

Because there’s always something that ruins a good thing

Within the first couple months of talking, and laughing, and loving, and getting to know each other

It was all a great start but once it was a daily routine and we started to get too comfortable

I knew things wouldn’t work out

Because of the distance

Even though people said

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder”

I knew something was bound to happen

To this so called “good thing”

But of course we drifted apart because you couldn’t handle

The risk of our relationship… our distance… our chance

To see if this would actually work out

I am not mad at you

I am not upset at you

And I am not a weak person

But I am hurt.

I am hurt to the point where I cried over you for THREE years…

THREE WHOLE YEARS

Over someone that I met in a day, but talked for hours on the phone

Over someone I gave the benefit of the doubt

Over someone I could share everything with

Over someone I didn’t hesitate to call cause I knew you’d be there for me

I gave you all of me…

But you let go of me…

You drifted away

YOU drifting apart from me hurt me

And it did a lot of damage to my heart

And the sad part is…

Is that you didn’t even know it

Because you thought it was just something you could let go easily

But did you think about what I was going through?

Ever since you suddenly stopped calling

Stopped texting

Stopped communicating in every way possible

I knew from then you gave up…

You gave up on us

But what I can’t forget was that

You locked me into your heart and showed me ways to love the things about me that I hated so much

You showed me how to care and love someone when I didn’t know how to

You showed me how it felt to have butterflies in my stomach for the first time

You showed me how I am when I have a broken heart

You showed me how to love something, how to love someone like you within a second

But what I can’t thank you enough is the lesson you taught my heart…

And it was to love harder than ever

To be a stronger person than I was before and to show myself that there is someone out there that can love me and would take the risk to fight for my love because you couldn’t.

So thank you for that

But then again they say…

Nothing good lasts forever