"Walking Forward"

12/07/2015

"Walking Forward"

Walking in the darkness

I see no light

Walking through you

I see no sight

I try to look deeper and deeper

But all I see is a fearful fight

Feeling ashamed of what I feel

For I am afraid of what reveals

I see no sign of you around 

But I feel the goosebumps all around 

I feel my weakness crawling through my veins and my skin 

For I know you will restore my soul with your remains within

To trust your promise is hard to find

But I know you will bless me when you commit to mine

Knowing the weakness spreading through 

For I know you will stop before it goes through 

Within my soul, within my lungs

You will help me learn to breath through your lungs

Replacing my weakness for your strength 

Will remind me the sacrifices you made for our sake

When I feel hopeless deeply within 

You fill up my body with your loving soul that begins

Walking through the darkness

I see a sight 

A sight that was shining so bright

Could it be you

Could it be the start of something new 

As the light shines through

I feel your presence coming as a clue 

Spreading all over my body 

I feel your glory in your loving godly 

With your trust and faith

I am redeemed by your own sake 

For now I am saved by your glory, your light and shining love 

That is never ending up above 

Jeremiah 29:11

My savior

11/19/2015

Through the mist of struggles

He was there to save me

Through the tears and screams 

He was there to wipe them away

Through the heart aches 

He was there to love me and hold me 

Through the doubts and disbelief 

He was there to give me hope and forgiveness

He was always there...

To remind me that he is in control and there's a purpose of my living. 

To remind me to have faith

Because

He loves me so. 

Because he is my redeemer. 

Lean on you - Update

9/13/2015

For some reason, I feel so hopeless. I feel empty inside and don't know how to deal with reality right now. I feel alone and against the world like I have done something wrong to deserve all this pain in my life. I don't know about you but don't you have those days where all you want to do is cry yourself to sleep and never want to wake up? Feeling like you don't need to deal with reality so all you keep doing is sleeping ... 

In my mind, I think my solution to that problem seems right in my head but knowing myself I know that's not the right answer. I should face my problems straight ahead but I'm too afraid. Too afraid to face the facts. Too afraid to make moves and mess up again. I feel so helpless. So unmotivated and wanting to give up. 

I feel like crying won't help and a waste of time ... I keep bottling shit up ... I'm going to explode. 

Sudden Movement

9/9/2015

I think to myself about all the possibilities

The good

The bad

And the middle

All the possibilities that could happen in a sudden movement

Thinking, breathing, deeply with my eyes closed

Imagining all the wonderful yet terrifing things that could happen

That would happen

Or that could not happen... at all

Thinking whether or not if I am making the right decision

In the end
All we want is happiness
Joy
Happy tears
and to be supported by the ones we love.

Pure Happiness

5/21/2015

Have you ever looked at a picture and just felt pure happiness?
Thinking about how blessed you are to have people like these human beings in your life?
The opportunity to experience their "presence" in your life without having each and every one of them feel forced to being there?
Surrounded by smiles, laughter, tears, and joy because at that moment all that mattered was just everyone being together and enjoying each others presence
The feeling of knowing how important you are to them feels beyond your emotions of happiness
Knowing the blessing that God gave you was to use your own self to love these people who are in front of you, the ones that are in your lives, and the ones that are always there for you
Appreciating every moment you have with them because you never know what could happen once you turn your back for a quick second
Taking every moment with family and friends and cherishing what you have right in front of you
All that I ask for is to love them with all your heart and enjoy what God gave you.

Keep Walking

4/22/2015

Sitting here contemplating who I am....
Wondering what I could of been if I turned the opposite way around
Thinking to myself that if I made a mistake to take this chance
The chance to finally make the right decision for myself
For my future and maybe for right now ...

If this route was the way to my happiness or the way to my sadness
Would I be happy if I choose the other route
At times I always second guess myself ...
Maybe its time for me to finally let that go and accept that I am actually happy

See You Again, Paul Walker.

4/3/2015

In honor of Fast and Furious 7 ... This is for you Paul Walker. <3

We all begin as strangers
Not knowing a single thing about each other
And then to friends getting to know one another
To being the best of friends and understanding each other
And lastly treating each other like family by having each other's back
For one another
We love each other until the end
Starting to share every special moment together
Making memories last long as much as we can
Holding it close to our hearts
It was something we were all good at
We tend to forget how simple moments in life can mean so much to a person
Never realizing it can be the last moment, the last memory, the last touch
You share with them
A laugh, a hug, a kiss, and great memories
Will always be in our hearts
We miss you and love you, Angel
You were never forgotten because
We've come along way
We will See You Again




Dedicated to Paul Walker ... My prayers goes out to your beautiful family.
Rest In Paradise, Angel

#RIPPaulWalker #Furious7

Love,
Your Fast and Furious Family

Come back home

I know it has been awhile but it's better late than never. I made this poem on 2/14/15.

I lay here wondering
Wondering when will you come back
Wondering if this is even fair
for any of us, for you, for all of us
Laying in the dark
I ponder on what could of been
What should of been
I just lay and wonder

I think to myself
When will all this suffering end
But I think to myself repeatedly
It's just the beginning...

You were so good to us all
So genuine, so kind-hearted
So charming, so loving
You were our angel, our angel
That was sent from up above


We miss you everyday. May you rest in paradise. <3

It's been hard. - Update

Lately,

I haven't had the energy or time to even think about writing. I want to write but sometimes I feel like I just can't do it for some reason. I feel like I have no words to say anymore. It's been awhile since I've been on my blog.
Going back to school has been really tough for me. It's crazy to think that something can happen all of a sudden without your control ... Because that's just how life goes. Like it takes a toll out of all of us and decides what happens next ... Sometimes I wish I can go back in time and rescue the ones I love to save everyone from all this sadness and despair. I just want you to come back. We need you to come back. Please come back our lovely angel.

Shinning Light In Heaven

12/3/2015

I look around to find signs of you

But all I see people loving you 

You always knew that deep down 

You were and always will be cared for

Didn't you see it when we were there beside you

We all know you're in a better place now 

But our better place for you is 

YOU being here beside us all 

Even though you're in heaven now 

Just know you will never be forgotten 

You've made a huge impact in each and every persons life ...

And we vow to live our lives for you 

Shinning light